Every communication has a content and relationship aspect
(Paul Watzlawick)
Maybe you are a strong believer of what Paul Watzlawick told us. Within your profession, you might or might not make much use of it: If you are an attorney or a doctor, even a psychotherapist, your only relationship aspect may be to give your client a warm and friendly environment. You do not expect the bank clerk to communicate with you using a lot of relationship aspects. The only thing you need to know is that he understands what you need – and all she or he can do is building up a personalized communication.
Unfortunately, people pretend to have a relationship with you. They learn it in courses – - even from communication teachers. Telephone hotline ladies may know nothing about what you would like to know, but they say “"Welcome to our hotline, what can I do for you?”" After a while, you know that this is not the start of a dialogue, and that there is no relationship between you and the ladies, and that they do not even care whether you are happy or not. They are pretending to be friends, as the insurance salesman pretends to be a fried of you family. They are trying to build up an artificial, fake relationship.
Not, that I will blame them for that. They are professionals, as I am. They make their money by acting like this. But: as a critical customer, you need facts – not those artificial relationships they are trying to offer you.
So does every communication need a relationship aspect besides having a nice and friendly atmosphere? I doubt it. Paul Watzlawick and his colleagues examined mainly couples. They exchange a lot of obvious and hidden relationship aspects. Other people do it as well, but it is not that important - and they do not really need it as much as Watzlawick thought they would.
People need information. They like to have them in a nice package. That is one thing you must know. But people do not like cheaters. That is the other thing you must know.
(Paul Watzlawick)
Maybe you are a strong believer of what Paul Watzlawick told us. Within your profession, you might or might not make much use of it: If you are an attorney or a doctor, even a psychotherapist, your only relationship aspect may be to give your client a warm and friendly environment. You do not expect the bank clerk to communicate with you using a lot of relationship aspects. The only thing you need to know is that he understands what you need – and all she or he can do is building up a personalized communication.
Unfortunately, people pretend to have a relationship with you. They learn it in courses – - even from communication teachers. Telephone hotline ladies may know nothing about what you would like to know, but they say “"Welcome to our hotline, what can I do for you?”" After a while, you know that this is not the start of a dialogue, and that there is no relationship between you and the ladies, and that they do not even care whether you are happy or not. They are pretending to be friends, as the insurance salesman pretends to be a fried of you family. They are trying to build up an artificial, fake relationship.
Not, that I will blame them for that. They are professionals, as I am. They make their money by acting like this. But: as a critical customer, you need facts – not those artificial relationships they are trying to offer you.
So does every communication need a relationship aspect besides having a nice and friendly atmosphere? I doubt it. Paul Watzlawick and his colleagues examined mainly couples. They exchange a lot of obvious and hidden relationship aspects. Other people do it as well, but it is not that important - and they do not really need it as much as Watzlawick thought they would.
People need information. They like to have them in a nice package. That is one thing you must know. But people do not like cheaters. That is the other thing you must know.
sehpferd - am Montag, 28. August 2006, 14:28 - Rubrik: kommunikation